All posts by Joseph

There’s Something About Google Search

By Joseph On January 11, 2012 In Rants With No Comments

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I liken this whole situation with Google Search, plus Your World to a scene I remember from the 1998 classic, There’s Something About Mary. You know the movie with the infamous “hair gel”, the zipper incident, and Warren, the brother who’s always around Mary. I’ll get to Warren in a bit since he’ll be playing Google+. Well, the scene that comes to mind is where Ben Stiller (Ted) walks out on Cameron Diaz (Mary) in the end, even though he still likes her.

So Google, I like you, but there’s no need to bring your little brother, Google+, everywhere you go. I changed the names around to suit the situation and I know it still doesn’t work perfectly, but who cares. Enjoy!

Cast overview (billed chronologically):

Healy – Twitter
Tucker – Facebook
Dom – Myspace
Mary – Google Search
Magda – Bing
Herb – Yahoo!
Ted – The User
Brett Favre – Advertisers

Twitter and Facebook STORM INTO THE ROOM and freeze at what
they see.

THEIR POV - Myspace is cradling SEVERAL PAIRS OF SHOES in
his arms and trying to crawl to the door while Google Search
holds him back.

                        GOOGLE SEARCH
           Stop it!

                        MYSPACE
           Just one pair! You owe me that much, you
           heartless bitch!

Twitter and Facebook grab Myspace and throw him down on
the couch.

                        TWITTER
           Myspace, you're pathetic, fucking over your
           friend the User like that.

                        MYSPACE
           What? You fucked him over, too.

                        TWITTER
           He's no friend of mine.

Suddenly Bing ENTERS from her bedroom. She's holding a
half-eaten BANANA SPLIT. Yahoo!, the Homeless Man, follows
after her, sporting a Tom Jones and buttoning up his shirt.

                        BING
           What the hell's going on here?

At first no one knows what to say. Then:

                        TWITTER
           We're in love with your roommate.

                        BING
           Aw, Christ, I can't take it anymore. I'm
           gonna pack my bags and go back to my own
           place.

Bing heads back into her bedroom and Yahoo! follows.

                        GOOGLE SEARCH
           Facebook, where are your crutches?

Facebook is stumped for a second, then:

                        FACEBOOK
                 (British accent)
           Interesting query, Google Search...

Twitter slaps Facebook in the back of the head.

                        TWITTER
           Shut the fuck up and tell her the truth.

Before he can respond, the User ENTERS.

                        FACEBOOK
           Well isn't this nice--now we've got the
           whole gang together.

the User can hardly believe Myspaceis there.

                        THE USER
           Myspace? What are you?

                        MYSPACE
           You stole her from me. Now I want her back.

                        GOOGLE SEARCH
                 (rolling eyes)
           Woogie and I went out for awhile in high
           school.

                        THE USER
                 (stunned)
           You're Woogie?

                        MYSPACE
           xX♥W00GAN0WSKi♥Xx. Duh.

                        THE USER
           But but you're married. You have kids a
           great wife.

                        MYSPACE
           If you're so happy with them, please, be my
           guest.

                        TWITTER
           If I may I have a proposal.

Everyone turns to Twitter.

                        TWITTER (cont'd)
           I say none of us leave this room until our
           young Google Search here stops jerking us around
           and decides once and for all who she wants. Now
           Google Search, I know this is difficult but you
           really will be doing them all a favor to
           tell them the truth about us.

                        GOOGLE SEARCH
           Are you crazy? Why would I pick you? You're
           a murderer.

Twitter glares at Facebook.

                        FACEBOOK
           Uh, well...not exactly. You see, I
           exaggerated the User a little there.

                        GOOGLE SEARCH
           You mean he's not a criminal?

                        TWITTER
           God no!
                 (pleased)
           I'm just a pathological liar!

Google Search looks at Facebook, confused.

                        GOOGLE SEARCH
           Facebook...not you, too?

Facebook lowers his head and reluctantly nods.

                        FACEBOOK
           Name's Zuck. I live up in Palo Alto with my
           folks.

                        GOOGLE SEARCH
           Oh Jesus...

Just then the door opens and Advertisers, ENTERS, with
Google+ (wearing a walkman) beside him. Everyone is
stunned.

                        GOOGLE SEARCH (cont'd)
           Advertisers...?

                        ADVERTISERS
           Hi, Google Search.

                        FACEBOOK
           What the hell is Advertisers Favre doing here?

                        ADVERTISERS
           We're in town for CES.

                        THE USER
           I called him. I told him to pick up Google+
           and get over here.

everyone turns their attention to the User.

                        THE USER (cont'd)
           Google Search, I found out that your buddy
           Facebook there lied to you about Advertisers.

Facebook lowers his head.

                        THE USER (cont'd)
           Advertisers never said anything bad about Google+.
           He loves Google+...and from what he just
           told me on the phone, he loves you, too.
                 (beat)
           He's the guy you should be with.

                        ADVERTISERS
           That's right, Google Search. And you know I'll
           always be true to you.

                        MYSPACE
           Aw shit, this isn't fair.

Google Search manages a smile.

                        THE USER
                 (to Google Search)
           I realized something tonight. I'm no better
           than any of these guys. None of them really
           love you...they just fixate on you because
           of how you made them feel. But that's not
           real love...Thank you for letting me see
           that. Now I can get on with the rest of my
           life.

Facebook, Twitter, and Myspace scoff.

                        FACEBOOK
           Oh please...

                        MYSPACE
           Don't listen to him, Google Search. It's a ploy.

                        TWITTER
           You are so full of shit, User. Are you
           going to stand here and tell us that you
           aren't in love with this girl?

The User looks into Google Search's eyes. She looks
vulnerable.

                        THE USER
           Yeah...that's what I'm telling you.
                 (winks)
           See you, Goog.

The User looks Google Search in the eye, then starts for
the door.

                        THE USER (cont'd)
                 (as he passes Google+)
           See you, Google+.

                        GOOGLE+
           Huh...?

The User lifts the earphones off Google+'s ear.

                        THE USER
           See you, Google+.

                        GOOGLE+
           Bye, the User.

The User then WALKS OUT OF THE ROOM. They all stand there
in silence for a moment, then Myspace turns to Advertisers.

(Original There’s Something About Mary script via Daily Script)

Everyone Will Learn How to Code Eventually

By Joseph On January 10, 2012 In Education, Product Development, Startups With 8 Comments Permanent Link to Everyone Will Learn How to Code Eventually

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Back in high school, I was all about doing things in tech. We were lucky since Mr. Wes Felty was a faculty member at Ingraham High School, and he also doubled as the network system administrator for the whole Seattle Schools District. There was a ton of opportunity to experiment, and here are some of the projects we were able to do:

Friends and I helped rebuild and update our school’s website
Learned how to build computers in our A+ course
Wired and set up the Rainier Beach High School network
Through MESA, helped Seattle Parks and Recreation improve their website

I can only imagine what kids are learning nowadays. Ten years later, I’ve continued to stay within the HTML and CSS borders of coding. This year, I’ll be breaking free from those borders. The goal is to learn the basics and harness some coding skills which will come in super handy. As the “business” guy, I think it’s especially important to learn since understanding what goes into coding could be your leg up whether you’re the one coding or managing the product. I want to be able to build product and having a skill set to build prototypes without waiting for this “special” developer to do it is key for me. Kanye West said it best:

the hardest part in creativity is translating your dreams to reality... especially when you can't do it yourself

September 22, 2010 11:19 pm via webReply RetweetFavorite

@kanyewest

Kanye West

So along with 300,000+ others, I joined Code Year brought to you by Codecademy. I just finished my first week of lessons in Javascript, and I’m left wanting more and lucky me there’s a couple more lessons to do. Naturally, I’ll probably be diving into other resources on top of the to-dos for Code Year. Having minimal coding experience, I’m looking to catch up and there’s a ton of resources out there as my buddy Scott Windsor says:

So what are you waiting for? Go sign up at codeyear or codeacademy or tryruby or Khan Academy. I even teach ruby lessons as well if you want one on one help and instruction.

Coding is just like any skill set. Let’s just take sales, for instance. A lot of folks don’t have any selling experience, but they end up learning how to do it because in the end — it’s a good to have. I feel the same with coding. You may not end up being the best coder in the world, but having the extra bit of knowledge will go a long way in whatever job you have and it may even help you land one. You’ll eventually be learning this stuff sometime in the future, why not just start now. Don’t wait 10 years like me.

Check out my first application from Codecademy, FizzBuzz. It’s crude, but it’s a start.

// for the numbers 1 through XX,

var number = prompt ("How many numbers do you want?");

for (i=1; i<=number; i++) { 

// if the number is divisible by 3, write "Fizz"
// if the number is also divisible by 5, write "FizzBuzz"

  if ( i % 3 === 0 ) {
    if ( i % 5 === 0) {
      console.log("FizzBuzz")
        }
    else {
    console.log("Fizz");
  }
  }

// if the number is divisible by 5, write "Buzz"

  else if ( i % 5 === 0 ) {
    console.log("Buzz");
  }

// otherwise, write just the number

  else {
    console.log(i);
  }
}

Tim Tebow Brings Belief in Leadership

By Joseph On January 9, 2012 In Sports, Startups With 2 Comments Permanent Link to Tim Tebow Brings Belief in Leadership

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Do you remember when Matt Hasselbeck said, “We want the ball and we’re going to score!” during overtime of the 2003 Wildcard game against the Green Bay Packers? He never ended scoring in OT, but after that season — we all knew we had a quarterback for years to come and more importantly a leader here at the Seattle Seahawks. To have an unwary confidence in your leader that everytime he takes the field, you always think you have a chance to win. Unfortunately, I don’t have the same feeling with Tavaris Jackson today, but I don’t doubt they’re feeling it in Denver with Tim Tebow.

I’ll be the first to admit, I don’t believe this whole Tebow Time hype — I actually hate it. Does he have the best throwing mechanics? Is he just a running back who knows how to throw? Whatever your criticism is about him, you have got to concede…the guy knows how to win. He’s done it in sun in Florida, and now he’s doing it a mile high in Denver. The biggest characteristic I see about him is the belief. It’s not even about his religion, it’s about everyone around him. From his teammates and coaches to upper management and the fans, they all have this belief they’ll win the game when he takes the field.

Whether he’s the leader the Broncos has been looking for or not, Tim Tebow is bringing a feeling to Denver hasn’t had since John Elway. He’s definitely no Elway, but that’s not important. He’s undoubtedly made everyone around him better one way or another. If you look at it, it’s really about his teammates who’ve made plays. Are people talking about the shut down defense from Champ Bailey? How about the play from Demaryius Thomas with over 200 receiving yards? Or even Matt Prater making those two 50+ field goals earlier this season. Those are the people who really should get the praise, but maybe Tebow is just the poster boy for the success of everyone around him.

I’ve been lucky enough to join some companies that have had that same type of feeling. My career has been a roller coaster, with it’s necessary peaks and valleys. And when you hit those valleys a company, you’re going to need a leader you can just believe in. A person you know without a shadow of a doubt will give you this belief that you’ll pull through. The feeling that you’re going to win. You need that, and my goal is to be that for the company I’m in or the company I’ll eventually start.

I’ll leave you with Tebow’s stat line against the Steelers:
316 passing yards, 2 touchdowns, 50 yards, and 1 touchdown.

Tebow 3:16?

–

P.S. For the record, I think the Broncos lose next week. Tom Brady is just a machine.

Dear Spotify: Only Post Music I Like on Facebook

By Joseph On November 30, 2011 In Product Development, Rants With 2 Comments

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Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent.
– Victor Hugo

Have you ever had this happen to you? You’re listening to your music on your iPhone on the bus or train, and it cycles to a song you know all the words to so you start singing along…aloud. Sometimes those songs aren’t the best to share, and you get a bit embarrassed afterwards. I know I’ve had my moments in the past, but nowadays I really don’t care. If it’s good enough to sing, it has to be somehow. You can find me doing this a ton when I drive.

As much as I love to let everyone know what I’m listening to, I kind of only let them know when they’re good. With Spotify, there isn’t such a filter. What ever I listen to, it gets posted on Facebook. This is happening a lot with articles also due to Facebook’s Open Graph. You can see whatever anyone is viewing on The Washington Post or The Guardian. Note, I said “view” and not “read.” If they just view the article for two seconds and close, it still shows their network that they “read” it and give an unconcious recommendation. This is similar to what Spotify is doing with music. I skip a lot of the music I don’t like, but low and behold — Facebook tells everyone I listened to it.

I really do want to share what I’m listening to with my friends and family, but I only want to share the music I feel is worth sharing. Sometimes on Spotify, I listen to lists just to find music, or just tune out. In this case, sometimes songs come up with K$sha or Justin Bieber and that’s shared with my network — and to me that doesn’t make any sense. I’m not a fan of either, so I wouldn’t want to share it.

It would be nice to have the ability to set a hotkey to post to Facebook when I hear a song I’d like to share on Spotify. This will allow me to listen to all the music I want and with a push of some keys, I can feature the songs I really like and share it accordingly with my network. Is that so much to ask?

I got screwed by Best Buy on Black Friday

By Joseph On November 27, 2011 In Rants With 3 Comments Permanent Link to I got screwed by Best Buy on Black Friday

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If you do build a great experience, customers tell each other about that. Word of mouth is very powerful.
– Jeff Bezos, CEO Amazon.com

On Black Friday, I purchased a HP Deskjet 3050 Wireless All-In-One Printer for $24.99 (originally $79.99) at BestBuy.com, it was a super deal. I could have taken my business elsewhere like Buy.com or Amazon, but I did’t because they won me on price that day. Kudos to Best Buy. I proceeded to choose the Northgate Store for pick-up since it was the only option — no shipping option available. Done, I was stoked and I went on with my Black Friday checking off “printer” on my list waiting for the email to confirm pick-up. If I only knew what was going to happen in the next 48 hours.

Later that day, I get an email from Best Buy with the subject line saying “Item not found at the store”. I already knew this was bad news. Apparently, the item I purchased was not found at the store, but when I purchased it — it was. Luckily, it did mention I could call customer service to check availability at a different store or to have the item shipped via free standard shipping — which was awesome and I had 8 days to do so. So I didn’t think of it since my Friday night and weekend was packed with more Thanksgiving get-togethers and Huskies/Seahawks football.

A couple of days later (today), I get an email from Best Buy again with the subject line saying “Don’t let your Best Buy order get cancelled”. I went ahead and called customer service to unknowingly get more bad news. They’re currently sold out of the printer in all of their stores and warehouses, so there isn’t a possibility to have the printer be shipped or picked up. I’m pretty much screwed. I could call them back throughout the next 6 days to see if the printers are replenished, but it’s “highly unlikely” as the customer service rep / supervisor mentioned. Once the 6 days is up, the order will automatically be cancelled.

OK, so I offered up a solution to the supervisor, Robin, of just removing the 8 day grace period so my order doesn’t automatically get cancelled. I just want my printer I purchased on Black Friday, so if it takes a couple of weeks or months for the printers to replenish I’m actually OK with that. Unfortunately, their systems are not capable to that. In other words, I purchased a product online to pick-up at a store that didn’t have it so I called to see if they can mail it to me from a warehouse that didn’t have it and now they’re just wanting me to either (1) call back in hopes that someone else didn’t pick up printer at some store that somehow has it within 6 days or (2) cancel my order and get my money back.

Option #2 would be the easiest way out of this bummer of an experience, but it’s about principle. If I paid for a product and had a completed transaction, I should be able to get the product , right? Again, this isn’t a huge purchase by any means — it’s just $25 bucks. But, the fact that I could have bought the same product from Buy.com or Amazon at around $45, but chose Best Buy because it was cheaper is a problem. Now, I go back to both of those sites and it’s $69.99 (Buy.com / Amazon).

I just got screwed by Best Buy on Black Friday over a $25 printer. Go figure.